Cashiers and Counting

When I was a little kid I wanted nothing more than to be a "service station man" like my dad. At that time he had a full serve service station and shop. This was in the days where the service stations actually worked on cars, not just sold you stale Twinkies and flat diet coke. My glorious achievement was reached by the age of thirteen when I started working at my grandparent's gas station part time. At first I was cleaning bathrooms and stocking drink machines. Later, when I was older I was a cashier. Now this station wasn't a convenience store. We sold cigarettes, gas, and oil. That's it. That's all. If you wanted a hot dog or slurpee, then you went somewhere else. Being a perfectionist, I decided the best way to be a cashier was to never need an adding machine. We didn't have a cash register, just a cash box, and  a calculator. And calculators are for people who can't add. Now I'm not saying that I was perfect, or that I never made any mistakes but the more I worked, the better and faster I got. Finally the truth was that I really didn't need any mechanical device to make change. This little diatribe may sound inane and basic. I promise, it's not. Go to your local fast food restaurant and when the bored looking, pimple faced, pervert behind the counter says "$10.26 please.", hand him a twenty, two dimes, a nickel, and a penny. Watch as the little bastard stares back at you in disbelief as if your the dumbass who doesn't know what he is doing. These little pubescent rug rats no nothing about money, or making change, and they have a damn machine. All they have to do is push buttons! Yet even with all of this technology at their fingertips they still will look at me in wonder until my heads spins around, the vein in my forehead sticks out, and announce to them that they owe me $10.00. Once they have been given the answer, you know the one that required half a second of thinking to process, they are usually happy and continue on to the next poor sap. But sometimes, sometimes there are the brave few who want to argue about how much you gave them, and how you are wrong. I know I know. You shouldn't take advantage of the weak minded, and yes I'm and arrogant asshole, but if you're going to be an ass to me then it's game on! I know you make minimum wage, and your life sucks, and your girlfriend is cheating on you. But I don't really give a shit, at least, not if you're going to insist on being rude. I think of it as doing my part for humanity. I'm simply pointing out to the world all of the future IRS agents, before they realize their inner dreams and set out to personally destroy you, and me. So next time you buy fast food, do the world a favor. Give them a test, and let the games begin.

It seems that some people in the outter edges of my life have decided to judge me. Not for something I have done. Not for something I may have done. Simply for the fact that I belong to a certain organization. An organization with great historical roots. You see, I am a freemason. It is something I am very proud of. I am very proud of the things we do in our community and the lifelong bonds I have made with the men that I have met. I carry no shame wearing a Masonic ring or having a Masonic sticker on my vehicle. I consider this affiliation quite an honor. However to certain people, this is not honorable. These people are unknowing, close minded, persecutors hiding behind what they have read in the national enquirer or seen in conspiracy minded television shows. So, my invitation to you is this. Step out of the shadows you seem so comfortable hiding in. Open your little mind just a little bit. Try and spread love, instead of intolerance. If you can do these things, perhaps we can be friends, the way God intended. If this is to much to ask of you remember one thing. What you say about me, and the rumors that you spread, say nothing about my character or the man I am. They only prove that you believe yourself to be perfect. Becauses after all, " he who is without sin should cast the first stone.". This is the first, and last time you will have my attention. I'm waiting.

Where are MY kids???

Today is Tuesday. For most people, the second day of the work week. Fortunately, I was off yesterday. In fact, my wife, kids, and I spent the whole day together. Well kinda. My daughter who is eleven, thinks she is 19. She has developed the attitude of a woman scorned, without being scorned. My wife assures me this will get worse before it gets better and let me just tell you. I can't wait. What was once my beautiful little girl is now some evil entity residing in her ever maturing body. Just yesterday her attitude cost her, her friends, her phone, the computer, and anything else I could think of. Her response, "I don't care." Great. You don't care. Well I do care, and I'm the boss! Needless to say she spent most of the day and evening in her room. My son..... My boy! My boy is nine. My boy is into sports, farting, and eating. All things manly. He's also a big computer gaming guy. But not anymore.... Just yesterday his mom and I overhead a conversation he was having over the phone with one of his buddies. Then out of nowhere we heard him tell his friend he couldn't go onto this gaming website anymore one that I have to pay for because he was banned. My wife called him into the room we were in and asked him about this. "Why were you banned?" she asked. To this he replied something about some kid being mean and cussing on the website. To this she replied "Ok, but why were YOU banned?" Again he said something about a boy cussing to which he was then asked what did he say? He wouldn't say, so he was asked again. Then he was told to spell it/ "F U C K." My wife went ape shit! He was immediately chewed up one wall and down the other and promptly sent to his room. Throughout all of this I stayed very quiet, for two reasons. One, I was doing the best I could not to laugh my ass off. Two, I knew at any moment the rage that she had boiling inside of her could, and would, be rightfully directed at me. After a few hours, and a few "I'm sorrys..." both children were allowed to come back into the living room and spend good wholesome quality time with us the parents of the fucking year. So beware out there all you moms and dads. One day your sweet, loving, innocent children may disappear to, leaving you to ponder what the hell you did to deserve this. As for me, I'm just glad to be at work today!